The constitution of the kaZantip
The Party Land's Law
Estimated reading time is ( words)
- The kaZantip party land has borders but doesn’t has its own territory; it is a state which can easily be moved in space from time to time. The capital of the kaZantip party land can be any inhabited place which, sometimes to its own surprise, has found itself near the kaZantip party land.
- The kaZantip party land is a democratic state with a leading queen represented by a beauty who gets elected during the festival time every week.
- The executive and the legislative powers of the kaZantip party land are carried out by the cabinet of ministers which consists of the most dignified representatives of different kinds of activity.
- The kaZantip party land citizens who don’t know by sight the members of the kaZantip government may fail to recognize them on meeting and express their great thanks.
- The kaZantip party land is a society of dream and its policy is aimed at the rise of the level of dreaminess of its citizens, at the creation of good atmosphere to make the dreams come true and the rise of belief of citizens in the reality of the unreal.
- Inalienable constitutional rights of every citizen of the kaZantip party land are his constitutional responsibilities: to look for happiness, to find happiness, to fly because of happiness, to believe in the unreal and to believe in miracles. The people who don’t comply with these rights and responsibilities are claimed unhappy, it’s only their fault and it’s worse for themselves.
- The beach, sea or lake, sun, sky, palms and ladies of unearthly beauty are protected by the government and are used by the great nation as the main happiness extractive recourses.
- Belief in miracles is the national religion of the kaZantip party land. The citizens who believe in miracles do know at least some main fairy tales, which is enough to obtain wonderful felling of happiness during celebrations. The citizens of other religions are not prosecuted by the law but they will be converted to the kaZantip party land one way or another. Unconverted people will be considered hopeless realists which is worse for themselves again.
- The highest level of power in the kaZantip party land (besides the power of dreams over dreamy citizens) is a caste of keepers of belief in miracles, national religion of the kaZantip party land. The highest power of keepers, which stands above ministers and the vanity of the world in general, implements such functions as the victory of the good over the evil, feelings over mind, victory over crime, domination of the wonderful over the ordinary and all the possible over impossible.
- Every owner of multipass automatically becomes a citizen of the kaZantip party land. Citizen who joined more than 3 times are named "paradiZers" as they carry the kaZantip virus in them where exists no cure. People with transit tourist pass (also known as one time viZa or one entry festival ticket) obtain political asylum and get limited rights on the first-come-first-served basis.
- National clothes of the kaZantip party land citizen are bikinis, strings/tangas, shorts, high-heels and sunglasses. People, seen in the territory of the kaZantip party land in suits, fur coats, bow ties, tailcoats and ballet tutus (as well as quilted jackets, homespun coats, armiaks and ship skin coats) are considered people undermining state traditions with all the ensuing terrible consequences.
- State language of the kaZantip party land is considered any language with the help of which two or more citizens can understand each other (including the language of body, gestures and notes). any language of the world which integrates the state letter “Z" also automatically becomes the national language of the republic.
- State fetishes, attributes, symbols & honored images are:
- orange and black stripes,
- polka-dotted materials in orange and black,
- the lack of panties or panties with the word «b U!»,
- freaks and girls with high-heels,
- a fetish who reflects yourself = b U!
- Official hymn of kaZantip is considered any musical composition which makes the great nation feel creepy. Every year a new hymn can be chosen.
- National kinds of sports are all kinds of flies: in dreams, in reality, because of happiness. The ability of the citizen to fly, to hover and to soar (the higher the better) guarantees the membership in the highest society of the kaZantip party land and is favored by the law in every possible way.
- Creative intelligence is a privileged group of the kaZantip party land society which has benefits in receiving of ministerial cases (not more than 2 to every person!) and in obtaining of national glory.
- Girls on high-heels are national heritage of the kaZantip party land and they are protected by the ministry of culture. Honored freaks of the kaZantip party land receive the status of distinguished kaZantip citizens and many privileges, public love, dances in forbidden places and filming, filming, filming...
- On the territory of the republic love in all it kinds is welcome, excluding sexual breach of limits, prostitution or offensive behavior. The institution of fast married validates relations between kaZantip party land citizens. The citizens who have fallen in love with each other can enter into fast marriage (union in heaven), i.e. have a ceremony of fast married. Unions in heaven is not limited in number or gender. The marriage is valid for however long love lasts.
- All national holidays, established in the kaZantip party land (one for each day) are obligatory to celebrate.
- The constitution is the basic document of the state and it is necessary to read (at least once) by all citizens of the kaZantip party land. The constitution can be supplemented or updated as many times as necessary according to the inspiration of the legislative power and the king. The unawareness of the constitutional rules does not free citizens from the consequences of their non-implementation.
- b U! - YO!
The Criminal Code of kaZantip
- Peeing in an unapproved place is considered as a crime within the kaZantip party land. Citizen who didn’t manage to run up to the nearest public toilet will be arrested by the security guards, fined and deported from the republic.
- Incitement of ethnic hatred and unleashing of chauvinistic sentiments within the kaZantip party land is considered one of the most enormous offences against the national ideology which aims to achieve the world supremacy through peaceful means i.e. through accumulation the brightest, the most cheerful and genial people from the entire planet. Citizens seen sabotaging the hospitality policy will be arrested by the morality police of the kaZantip party land and deported ruthlessly regardless of their status or ethnicity...
- Sexual harassment and caddish behavior towards female citizens of the kaZantip party land, however easy to get they may look, is penalized under the criminal code as severely as any other crime — with deportation. Besides, despite the prevailing atmosphere of free and easy nudism, promiscuous sexual relations in an inappropriate places are by no means welcome in kaZantip.