the Constitution of kaZantip

the Party Land's Law

Estimated reading time is ( words)

The Articles

  1. kaZantip has borders but has no territory of its own; it is a virtual state which can easily be moved in space from time to time. the capital of kaZantip can be any inhabited place or event which, sometimes to its own surprise, has found itself near kaZantip.
  2. kaZantip has transformed from a dictatorship to a democratic state and is governed by ministers and represented by the Z queen who gets elected, based on her charm and beauty, every week during the festival time.
  3. kaZantip’s cabinet of ministers consists of the most creative representatives of different kinds of activities like fun & dance, music & light, love & relationship, illusion & miracles and above & beyond. all the ministers are responsible for happiness of the kaZantip citizens and devote all their knowledge and passion to face any situations.
  4. kaZantip is a society of dreams aimed to raise the level of dreaminess of its citizens and make the dreams come true. the constitutional responsibility of every kaZantip citizen is to look for happiness, to find happiness, to fly because of happiness, to believe in miracles and to dream. to dream is the highest power in kaZantip and it stands above the vanity of the world, enforces the victory of good over evil, feelings over mind, victory over crime, wonderful over the ordinary and all the possible over the impossible.
  5. the beach, sea, sun, sky, stars and girls of unearthly beauty are protected by the government and are used by the great nation as the main happiness extractive resources. national clothes of the kaZantip citizen are bikinis, strings/tangas, shorts, high-heels and sunglasses. talented DJanes and beautiful Girls on high-heels are the national heritage of kaZantip.
  6. every owner of a multipass automatically becomes a citizen of kaZantip. citizens who joined more than 3 times are called "paradiZers" as they carry the kaZantip virus in them where exists no cure. people with a transit tourist pass (a one time entry ticket) obtain asylum and get limited rights on the first-come-first-served basis.
  7. the state language of kaZantip is considered any language with the help of which two or more citizens can understand each other (including the language of body, gestures and notes). any language of the world which contains the state letter “Z" also automatically becomes the national language of the republic.
  8. state fetishes, attributes, symbols & honored images are:
    • orange and black stripes,
    • polka-dotted materials in orange and black,
    • a fetish who reflects "b U!" or the abbreviation "Z"
  9. the official hymn of kaZantip is any musical composition which makes the great nation feel creepy. each year a new hymn can be chosen.
  10. national kinds of sports are all kinds of flies: in dreams, in reality, because of happiness. the ability of the citizen to fly, to hover and to soar (the higher the better without any drugs) guarantees the membership in the highest society of kaZantip and is favored in every possible way.
  11. upon the territory of the republic love in all its kinds is welcome. excluding sexual violation of borders, prostitution or offensive behavior! the institution of fast married validates relations between kaZantip citizens. citizens who have fallen in love with each other can enter into a fast marriage (union in heaven), i.e. have a ceremony of fast married. unions in heaven are not limited in number or gender. marriages are valid for however long the love lasts.
  12. the constitution is the basic document of the state and must be read by all citizens of kaZantip. the constitution can be supplemented or updated as many times as necessary according to the inspiration of the legislative power and the queen. unawareness of the constitutional rules does not free citizens from the consequences of their non-implementation. b U! - YO!

the Criminal Code of kaZantip

  • peeing in an unapproved place is considered a crime within kaZantip. any citizen who has not managed to run up to the nearest public toilet will be arrested by the security guards, fined and deported from kaZantip.
  • incitement of ethnic hatred and unleashing of chauvinistic sentiments within kaZantip is considered one of the most enormous offenses against the national ideology that aims to achieve the world supremacy through peaceful means i.e. through accumulation of the brightest, the most cheerful and genial people from the entire planet. any citizen seen sabotaging the hospitality policy will be arrested by morality guards of kaZantip and deported ruthlessly, regardless of their status or ethnicity...
  • sexual harassment and caddish behavior towards female citizens of kaZantip, however easy to get they may look, is penalized under the criminal code as severely as any other crime — with deportation. besides, despite the prevailing atmosphere of free and easy going, promiscuous sexual relations in inappropriate places are by no means welcome in kaZantip.
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