I DID NOT GET IT, SO WHAT IS KAZANTIP?
DID NOT GET IT, SO WHAT IS KAZANTIP?
after multiple years of research and dangerous experiments it has been established that kaZantip is a weird place and, what is more, A REAL SINGULAR POINT. a singular point is NOTHINGNESS, which explodes and forms the Universe, with the following COLLAPSE a couple of weeks later when the Universe once again shrinks into small nothingness into a singular point. until the next explosion.
HOW CAN I PARTICIPATE IN THE PROJECT? I WORK IN ADVERTISING
this is a governmental assignment for all those employed in advertising: if you happen to find a person who does not know about kaZantip yet, lead him to us.
WHAT DO I NEED TO GO TO KAZANTIP?
IT SEEMS TO ME THAT KAZANTIP HAS BECOME SOMEWHAT DIFFERENT...
by the way, and what was it like before? we remember all kaZantips beginning with 1992 up to 2016… and each of them was different.
IF WE ARRIVE ON AUGUST 1, WILL WE BE ABLE TO FEEL THE SPIRIT OF THE CROWD? OR WILL WE HAVE TO WAIT FOR EVERYONE TO BE RESPECTABLY LATE?
many years’ experience shows that the first festival days are the freshest and the most emotional. everyone who decided to be late, deprive themselves of these magic sensations and take a risk of respectably dashing around the residential districts of the republic with their suitcases in search of close and cheap accommodation (while Villabajo residents will already be having the time of their life and a great rest).
WHERE AND HOW TO LIVE?
it is better to live on Cayman islands and once a year to visit kaZantip Republic.
IF I HAVE NO CHANCE TO STAY FOR THE WHOLE FESTIVAL, WHAT IS THE BEST TIME TO COME?
the best time is always when you are with us.
IF I COME WITH MY PRETTY WIFE, WON’T ANYONE STEAL HER AWAY FROM ME?
you may try depositing her in the luggage store at the railway station. there is such a trick – you dial the code and only then the door opens. so, the person who does not know the code will not be able to unlock the door in any way and will not steal your pretty wife.
I AM A GIRL. I GOT SCARED AFTER VISITING YOUR SITE. COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME IF YOU REALLY HAVE SUCH SEXUAL PROMISCUITY THERE OR IS IT JUST YOU SHOWING OFF? AND WHAT IS THE GENERAL SITUATION WITH TACTFULLY TREATING THE FAIR SEX THERE?
sexual promiscuity cannot exist by itself. some individuals develop it. so if you are not dissolute, then everything is fine, and everyone is going to treat you tactfully. it just like the underground – if a girl gets on a train naked and starts harassing men, then naturally, everyone will have an adequate reaction. and if she modestly takes a seat with a newspaper, nobody is going to hit on her.
I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO THAT THE WHOLE PARTY HAD BEEN ARRESTED. IS THAT TRUE? AND WILL THERE BE A PARTY?
do not listen to this radio station anymore.
WHERE DO Z RESIDENTS DIE OF BOREDOM IN THE MORNING AND IN THE AFTERNOON?
on the dance floors to cheerless music. or on the beach under the dying sun. or in the sea that is drying up.
IS IT FAR FROM THE BEACH TO KAZANTIP?
exactly as far as it is from kaZantip to the beach.
WILL THERE BE BOURGEOUIS IN KAZANTIP? IF THERE ARE THEN I AM NOT GOING!
of course, there are going to be bourgeois. there will be lots of them, as usual. as always, they will sail here on their yachts, walk over the dance floor, smoke thick cigars and live in VIP rooms. you can rely to them – where else these miserable people can go? to our mind, they cause fewer problems than hungry bitchy proletarians.
HOW CAN I BECOME THE MINISTER OF KAZANTIP REPUBLIC?
firstly, you need to be able to puff up your cheeks. secondly, you need to do something useful. thirdly, you need people to learn about it.
I AM A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN. HOW DO I GET FROM NOWHERE-LAND TO KAZANTIP AND WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO ME THERE?
NOBODY WILL LET ME GO TO YOU, THE UPCOMING TWO OR THREE SUMMERS EITHER (I AM 16). I AM AFRAID BY THE TIME I REACH MORE OR LESS ACCEPTABLE AGE, ALL THIS WILL CLOSE DOWN…. QUESTION: WILL THE FESTIVAL TAKE PLACE IN THE UPCOMING SEVERAL YEARS? I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO COME THIS YEAR AND THE NEXT ONE EITHER, I AM AFRAID.
we intend to conduct the festival until the end of the world, so you will not only be in time to get to the festival, but also to bring your grandchildren here.
HOW MUCH IS ACCOMODATION (APPROXIMATELY) AND HOW MUCH MONEY (APPROXIMATELY) SHOULD I TAKE WITH ME IN GENERAL IN ORDER TO HAVE A MONTH’S HOLIDAY THERE, GOING THE WHOLE HOG?
we know several ways to have fun during holidays at kaZantip. no money will suffice… the living wage (per weeks) in our republic is $400. the hogs are charged separately.
WHY IS THIS WEBSITE AVAILABLE ONLY IN RUSSIAN AND ENGLISH, AND THERE IS NOT A BRAZILIAN VERSION, FOR INSTANCE, OR, LET US SAY, A HINDI OR A CHINESE ONE:)) LOTS OF OUR FOREIGN FRIENDS ARE INTERESTED IN INFORMATION ABOUT Z.
let it serve as a good incentive to learn the great and mighty Russian language.... or even english.
CAN I BRING WITH ME BEATLES CD TO LISTEN TO?
try doing that. but we have to warn you – such music is out of law in kaZantip Republic – your disc will be confiscated and sent to recycling – some plastic cups useful for the household will be produced from it later.
HOW CAN I GET TO THE HOLIDAY HOTEL FOR DJ's AND THE GOVERNMENT IF I AM NEITHER OF THESE? THAT WOULD REALLY MAKE IT A NON-COMMERCIAL PROJECT
yes, it would be really cool if just anyone could live wherever they wanted.
DO CITIZENS OF THE REPUBLIC REALLY HAVE IMMUNITY FROM THE POLICE?
yes, indeed. the police tries not to have anything to do with the citizens of the republic. especially if these citizens behave decently.
HOW OLD ARE CITIZENS OF THE REPUBLIC? I AM 23. AM I NOT TOO OLD YET?
we have a great respect for the elder generation here, in kaZantip Republic. it is not too late to visit kaZantip at the age of 23 and start a new life. actually, it is a nice place to grow old quietly.
I WANT TO DRIVE MY OWN CAR. PLEASE BE HONEST AND OBJECTIVE: HOW MUCH MONEY WILL I HAVE TO GIVE AT EVERY POST?
it depends on how you drive. what police officer does not enjoy sitting under the bush with a radar detector! it is already a sport, which is wide spread all over the globe.
IS IT TRUE THAT THERE ARE A LOT OF DRUGS THERE? HOW WILL IT BE THIS TIME?
if you do not bring any with you – there will be considerably fewer of them, and we will say THANK YOU to you!